Fwordz

Fwordz: Furry friends and final good byes : it's both a blessing and a curse to know love like an animal gives.  they come into our lives and love us unconditionally.  through...

it's both a blessing and a curse to know love like an animal gives.  they come into our lives and love us unconditionally.  through our worst times and our best times they don't see us any differently from one to the other, they see us and love us.   my SHADOW had to be put to rest today and it was a hard decision to finally make even though i knew it was time.  it was hard because this is a dog who got his name because he was just that, my shadow.  i couldn't walk or move without him under my feet, he was there watching and waiting for my next move.   yes i know to some of you a dog is a dog, they come and they go but this dog was so much more.  when i started my weight loss journey shadow was my running dog or should i say walk/run dog.  he started with me on my journey and he helped me continue on it.  i remember whenever i would put on my sneaks to go out on a run he would get so excited prancing around the house and being vo...

Fwordz: FAITH : fAiTh.................. a bleeding heart i swear i LOVE my runs some nights, it brings such clarity to me.  FAITH, this is a word...

fAiTh.................. a bleeding heart i swear i LOVE my runs some nights, it brings such clarity to me.  FAITH, this is a word i know all too much about.  i have faith in so many areas of my life. FAITH when i lost everything to a house fire that we would be fine and God would take care of us.  He did. FAITH when i had thyroid cancer i would get through it fine and be here for my kids to watch them grow and God would take care of me.  He did. FAITH when i had breast cancer i would once again come through with flying colors and be here for my kids and God would take care of me.  He did. FAITH when i decided to make a career change God would see me through it and I was making the right decision for my family.  He did. FAITH when i decided to become a single mom God would give me the strength to continue on.  He did. FAITH that my daughter is going to make good decisions despite being a teenager and God would watch ov...

Fwordz: FIERCE : i woke this morning with a headache and tears in my eyes and although I knew the day would be different it didn't help.  it's b...

i woke this morning with a headache and tears in my eyes and although I knew the day would be different it didn't help.  it's been 4 years since she's been gone but there are days it feels just like it was yesterday.  see, today would have been my Nana's birthday and i would have been in Raleigh celebrating with her.   FIERCE is definitely a word i would use to describe this 4'10" woman.  the word can't was not in her vocabulary and definitely do not tell her she couldn't do something because she would die to prove you wrong.  i don't think i've ever seen such determination and drive in one person so small yet so big and at first glance you would probably expect her to be the submissive asian woman but think again.  that old age saying dynamite comes in small packages must have had my nana in mind when they said that because i'm sure you could look up that saying and her photo will be right next to it.  i watched her put her ca...

Fwordz: Featuring..........Mother's Day : As i sit here on Mother's Day at my Mom's house at the beach while my children are back home with their dad I got to thinking abo...

As i sit here on Mother's Day at my Mom's house at the beach while my children are back home with their dad I got to thinking about a debate that has gone on between Mom's...................who's job is harder?  A stay at home mom or a mom who works?  I started thinking about this because it was a topic of conversation I saw on social media and honestly I have an opinion on both sides.  I was fortunate enough to be able to be the stay at home mom before both of my children went to school and then a year before Trey started school I went back to work part time and mostly from home.  I can't speak for everyone but I can tell you my experience on each side of this fence. as a STAY AT HOME mom my day started early and finished late and went into the middle of the night some nights.  I would get up, feed children, wash dishes, clean up toys, plan activities for them to do whether it was taking them somewhere or making something for the day, making sure to includ...

Fwordz: FAT!!!! : Before my journey and during my journey. I'm at work on Friday and it has been one hell of a week and this is my three day weekend th...

Before my journey and during my journey. I'm at work on Friday and it has been one hell of a week and this is my three day weekend thank God.  It's around 3:00pm which means only 3 more hours and I'm out of there to enjoy the weekend, on the home stretch if you will.  I'm standing at my desk and a customer walks up to check in, for those of you who don't know I am an assistant service manager and write service.  As I'm getting his information he's going through his wallet and says I think I have something for you so I continue typing in what I need to type in and tell him oh ok.  He pulls out a card and hands it to me saying I've lost 40lbs taking this I think this can help you loose the same, take it.  I stand there with this card in my hand with a million things going through my head and somehow manage to maintain my composure and say as polite as I can, uh ok I lost 100lbs running and eating better and placed that God forsaken card on my desk.  His...

Fwordz: Florida, Fear, Family, Friends, Fighter, Failure, ... : So many fwordz for this weekend..................but the biggest and best were family, friends and fun. Let me set the stage,...

So many fwordz for this weekend..................but the biggest and best were family, friends and fun. Let me set the stage, Saturday morning we got up ready to go check in, do our practice swim and drop off our bikes.  I have NEVER felt so calm before a race before.  Denise, my cousin our driver, Brian, Frankie and I loaded up in the car and went over to the start of the race.  We all were wrong thinking the practice swim started at 8:00 am which was really 11:00 am so we decided we would go ahead and check in.  I ran into one woman who could have made or broke me because she was pretty rude and condescending when I asked if I was in the right line, I was just excited and didn't want to jump ahead of anyone and I mean I've done races before I know how it's done in other events but this one was so different.  I ignored her and did what I know to do at other races and got in line where my number was.  CHECK IN COMPLETE! We also decided si...

Fwordz: F&#$ Cancer : Gabby Rose Shulge October 7, 2011-March 22, 2013 Gone but never forgotten ~Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a me...

Gabby Rose Shulge October 7, 2011-March 22, 2013 Gone but never forgotten ~Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal~ Gabby Rose Shulga She left footprints in our hearts. Those eyes and that smile could turn a grey sky blue. Let me first start this post with, this is not my story to tell.  This is only sharing what it was like to watch someone you love go through this and to just be on the outside walking through as much as you can as a friend was so hard enough.   On October 7, 2011 a precious angel was born.  After watching her mother go through her pregnancy from day one we couldn't wait to meet this little bundle of joy!  Of course anyone who knows me knows i want to be non-sharing when it comes to babies.  I want them all to myself!  :)  So we went to the hospital to welcome baby Gabby!!!  She stole our hearts from day one.  She was quite perfect f...

Fwordz: fLoRiDa take 1 : Traveling with these two leaves room for lots of laughter. An endangered turtle sighting!  she never leaves home without it ...

Traveling with these two leaves room for lots of laughter. An endangered turtle sighting!  she never leaves home without it "SHE TURNED HER CAN'TS INTO CANS AND HER DREAMS INTO PLANS" i LOVE that saying because it's so true in my life for the last couple of years.  the funny part was it was my daughter who pointed it out so i have to wonder if i am making some sort of impact on her life.  hopefully letting her know you are never too old to start over and never to old to start something new. that is exactly what my mother did this past weekend.  she overcame so many different fears by paddle boarding for the first time.  i kept telling her she could do it and after some convincing and her trying to talk her way out of going she conceded.  let me explain a few things about this, she had NEVER been on a kayak let alone a paddle board, she can barely swim (doggie paddle) and has a bit of a fear of water.  take all that into conside...

Fwordz: February : "let your FAITH be BIGGER than your fear " That quote is one that rings true in my heart on a daily basis.  February has c...

"let your FAITH be BIGGER than your fear " That quote is one that rings true in my heart on a daily basis.  February has come and gone and is a month that is filled with (or supposed to be filled with) lots of love.  And this wasn't any different in my house but it was one that I had to force myself to show and make happen.  Now I know some of you may be like ohhhhh, "she's single and hates Valentine's day".  No, I think with Valentine's day there are people in relationships who only get showed the kind of love they deserve on Valentine's day.  For me the whole month of February has nothing to do with Valentine's day. I'm pretty sure the year Cameron was in kindergarten started my dislike for the month of February.  She had been really sick and she was also a very petite child.  We are talking vomiting and not being able to stay out of the bathroom.  For a 5 year olds body is no walk in the park.  Her virus, rodo virus is what...

FORTUNATE........................... I love you more said the daughter.  No, I love you more said the mom, I saw you first. today is my first born's "removal day".  Yes she calls it her removal day because I had her c-section.  she makes me laugh wanting to call it her removal day.  most years she will ask me about the day she was born.  it's been something she's done for a long time.  my doctor induced labor with potocin because she didn't want to come out.  she was nice and warm inside as it was cold in January in Atlanta.  we were so close to the super bowl and everyone was concerned about the big game.  my mom, my nana, my brothers, angelique, john and cissy and i'm sure a few others that have escaped me right now where there.  i was in labor for over a day and i remember my doctor coming in and saying we can keep going this route or we can go ahead and do a c-section and i said cut me!  We didn't want to find out if she ...

Family..................... "In the blink of an eye, everything can change.  So forgive often and love with all your heart.  You may never have that chance again." These words rang true in my heart this weekend. i was fortunate enough to be able to meet my brothers in Raleigh, NC our hometown this weekend for some family fun.  it was their first UNC Tarheel basketball game!  see the 3 of us are BIG Tarheel fans.  i loved every minute of that game.  i loved the look on my brothers faces as we were there.  they were both in heaven.  i loved how at the end of each segment about Carolina on the jumbo tron they ended it with Dean Smith.  we met him once!  on a flight back home from NYC when we were all very young Dean and his family were on the same flight as my family.  my youngest brother, tony, and his daughter were running up and down the isles of the plane and tony pushed her down and kissed her.  needless to say my da...