F&#$ Cancer

Gabby Rose Shulge October 7, 2011-March 22, 2013
Gone but never forgotten

~Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal~

Gabby Rose Shulga

She left footprints in our hearts.

Those eyes and that smile could turn a grey sky blue.

Let me first start this post with, this is not my story to tell.  This is only sharing what it was like to watch someone you love go through this and to just be on the outside walking through as much as you can as a friend was so hard enough.  

On October 7, 2011 a precious angel was born.  After watching her mother go through her pregnancy from day one we couldn't wait to meet this little bundle of joy!  Of course anyone who knows me knows i want to be non-sharing when it comes to babies.  I want them all to myself!  :)  So we went to the hospital to welcome baby Gabby!!!  She stole our hearts from day one.  She was quite perfect for a newborn just fresh out of the womb.  The first 5 months were going along like they should.  

Then.............................

March 15, 2012 will probably always be a date even I will never forget.  I answered a call that wasn't even coming to my phone because the intended receiver was busy on a work related call.  Little did I know what was waiting on the other end.  I answered and someone I loved was in tears, crying so hard it was barely understandable.  I got Gabby and having to take her to the hospital and that was about it.  I told her I loved her and to please call us and keep us posted.  

Little did we know what the doctors were about to say.  How do you as a doctor go to a parent with such news regarding their child?  It's hard enough hearing it when you are an adult let alone when it's your 5 month old child.  CANCER.  And not just any cancer but a form so rare it only affects 15 children a year.  I am a mother of two and can not imagine ever having to hear those words said to me so I could only imagine what Heather was going through.  NONE of us can imagine UNLESS you have been put in those shoes so please NEVER try comparing any of your experiences to it.  You will loose that battle with me and I've never been there.  

At this point all I could think to do was be the best friend I could be and be there for her for whatever it was she needed.  Anyone who was close did and even those who weren't very close were there to rally as best as they could.  Heather was the most selfless mother.  She gave everything up except being a mom to Gabby and Chase.  Watching her and watching her grow into this strong woman was incredibly inspiring.  Watching this baby girl go through things adults can't even handle with a smile was incredibly inspiring.  There were days I would leave my own treatment at one hospital and go to see her just as a reminder I was going through a walk in the park compared to what she was, she was my fighter, a spark in me that everything was going to be just alright.

A visit after one of my treatments, this is what I got.  One big smile!

So for me, watching this precious child come into this world then watching her fight the biggest fight of her life and then watching her take her last breath was life changing for me.  Watching Heather give birth, watching Heather become not only her mother but her care giver in a way no mother should ever have to give, watching Heather divide her time between being at the hospital for Gab and then home for Chase, watching Heather hold her child for the last time does something to a person when you love them.  

I am incredibly fortunate to have Heather in my life.  I am incredibly fortunate that she included me in Gabby's life.  I feel honored to have had that child in my life.  I will forever be changed because she was.  There is so much I could write about this and hopefully one day Heather may put it down to share with everyone because on those days when we are complaining about something so trivial it may make you stop and think, "is it really that bad?".  I'm guessing the answer will be no.  And I thank you all when you say I'm inspiring but I wanted to share with you someone and something that was an inspiration to me.

March 22, 2013 we said good bye to an angel and this date will forever bring with it a sting of pain.  For Heather and Chase it's a daily occurrence and i can only hope and pray that God gives them peace in their hearts and heads.  

I love you to the moon and back!