Fighter, Warrior

PSA:  If you don't have a sense of humor then you may get offended with some of the things that I say in this post.  

Here I am 2.5 weeks post surgery, post follow up visits and the best outcome for this bout with cancer yet I still can't seem to sigh a sigh of relief.  I'm not sure I will be able to.  I really thought after the surgery and follow up visit I was going to be done with this oncologist.  Turns out that's not the case.  When I went in for the follow up I said so I'm done with you but do I have to still see my gynecologist?  Valid question, right?  His response was "why, you don't want to see me again??" to which I responded "well it's not like I do reoccurrence I dance with new cancers"(I don't have anything left so that's why I asked).  We all laughed but it was he who had the last laugh because turns out my chances of reoccurrence are elevated because of a syndrome I have (we will get to this).  I get to see him every 6 months.  I sighed but not that sigh of relief, it was a sigh of oh dear we will get to know each other enough that I may have to buy him a Christmas gift.  

Now for that syndrome I was telling you about, I was clinically diagnosed with Cowden Syndrome and have a gene with a variant that is associated with Lynch Syndrome.  In a nut shell this means I am more predisposition for new cancers and reoccurrence than the average person and I now have a team of doctors overseeing my care.  I start my series of doctor's visits June 7th.  According to this last oncologist and my geneticists this also means I need to be a bit of a hypochondriac and letting everyone know what is going on sooner than later.  Anyone who knows me knows this isn't me.  I am VERY aware of my body and this is the reason we have caught it early all three times but to be a hypochondriac is another thing.  I may struggle with this for a bit.  Despite all that this is where things go a bit sideways for me because I can navigate this thing for myself but the part that is the hardest is how this affects my children.  There is a 50% chance I have passed it along to them.  They are a bit more concerned with Trey given his autism spectrum disorder, it is associated with CS.  Once the research has come back from Cleveland Clinic and I have finished all the tests I have to do they will move on to the kids and their health plans.  This is a hard pill to swallow but I keep telling them knowledge is power.

So to break it all down, I've had three cancers and am going to have to be screened for the rest of my lift for additional cancers.  I've been thrown into menopause at the age of 44 and am navigating that, although the only thing that has been an inconvenience so far is the hot flashes.  I am going to have to navigate my own doctor visits as well as my children's doctor visits to ensure we all stay ahead of what the future MAY hold.  It's going to be a crazy ride so I'm strapping my boots on.

On a much lighter note.  During recovery there have been little victories I've celebrated.  Things like going to the bathroom alone for the first time, walking unassisted, being able to put my own socks and shoes on, shaving my own legs and driving!  Driving alone with my son for the first time, see he is on the spectrum and so is pretty black and white and follows the rules.  I can't wear a seatbelt yet because the lap part hits right where my incisions are and hurts.  He says mother what happens if you get pulled over?  I say well I will get out and pull down my pants and show them why.  He then responds with mother you will be arrested for indecent exposure or trying to bribe a police officer.  Oh Trey.

So in our house we are going to still keep doing what we do.  We are going to fight the good fight and we are going to laugh.

Just remember 

don't sweat the small stuff...………..and it's all small stuff.