Featuring..........Mother's Day

As i sit here on Mother's Day at my Mom's house at the beach while my children are back home with their dad I got to thinking about a debate that has gone on between Mom's...................who's job is harder?  A stay at home mom or a mom who works?  I started thinking about this because it was a topic of conversation I saw on social media and honestly I have an opinion on both sides.  I was fortunate enough to be able to be the stay at home mom before both of my children went to school and then a year before Trey started school I went back to work part time and mostly from home.  I can't speak for everyone but I can tell you my experience on each side of this fence.

as a STAY AT HOME mom my day started early and finished late and went into the middle of the night some nights.  I would get up, feed children, wash dishes, clean up toys, plan activities for them to do whether it was taking them somewhere or making something for the day, making sure to include some educational along with some fun, feed them again, clean them up, put down for naps, wash dishes, wash clothes, clean bathrooms, floors, go grocery shopping, wake from naps, give snacks, prep dinner, feed dinner, clean up again, give baths, read books, put to bed then finish any of my domestic Goddess duties that needed to be done and try to be in bed at a decent hour.  When you are at home with them you are cooking or making meals three times a day and having to clean up after your done.  You are constantly changing diapers, wiping butts, noses and faces as well as constantly have someone right there needing you for everything.  Bathroom visits solo don't exist because you have to keep the door open to be able to hear everything going on in case someone falls or drops something or God forbid since you walked away pulls something down on them.  It's a constant full on no one there to take on some of the responsibilities job with little to no breaks or full adult conversations to be had.  Now, listening to me rant about this makes it sound like it was a horrible experience but it was the best thing that could have happened for my children because I was there to raise them and i am so thankful for that.  I got to be a big part of their school activities during elementary school and those memories will forever be cherished, I would have not had it any other way.

As a working full time MOM my challenges are different.  I get up in the morning was taking the kids to school (don't have to do that now), going to work, getting home, fixing dinner or grabbing something on the way home or ordering something on the way home, trying to spend time with the kids and not just time but quality time, trying to take care of myself, the house, the finances and everything that goes along with being the  mom.  The hardest part about this side is trying to find a healthy balance that doesn't make the kids feel neglected, trying to keep up with the domestic side of it all, trying to provide for them and trying to also have a bit of a life for myself.  It's a very real struggle with guilt from being away from them all day.  My children are older now but I still feel a real sense of needing to still be there for them or available for them.

I wrote about this because I feel it's something women struggle with daily and sometimes hold resentment towards the other side of the fence.  Each have it's own pros and cons and with every age they change.  I hope as women we can learn to respect each others situation and know just because one works or one stays at home doesn't make the job any less stressful.  Learning to build each other up instead of tear each other down is something that continues to need improvement.

As for Mother's Day I have personally had a Mother's Weekend.  Friday night my children took me to one of my favorite places, Mac's Speed Shop for dinner.  They know how much I love the fish tacos and after the week I had it was perfect timing!

                                                 

I am extremely fortunate to have a 19 year old daughter who is fiercely like me.  She's as independent as it comes for a 19 year old working a job and going to school full time.  She helps with her brother when it comes to taking him to school and picking him up as well as the household duties even when it means going to the grocery store to buy dog food because I forgot never asking for me to reimburse her for it.  My 6'5" 16 year old son is brilliant and his mind never ceases to amaze me.  He's witty and always willing to help me whenever I ask NEVER complaining or telling me no.  The three of us have a dynamic relationship and I love just hanging with them talking because there is ALWAYS going to be intellect and laughter.  They seriously are my greatest achievement and I am the lucky one to have them as children.  I want to thank them for giving me the honor of being called a mother.

Saturday I had the pleasure of doing a SUP race at Lake Norman for Autism.  It benefits a charity called IGNITE.  If you get a minute look it up because it's a place that benefits high functioning autistic adults.  It was also Colleen's first race of any kind and I was so proud of her for completing it and for doing it for a charity that is so near and dear to my heart.  

My final destination was to come to my mom's where I am now writing this.  I love hanging with my mom and brothers because we laugh more than anything.  We didn't do anything special except be with one another, cook dinner instead of eat out and tell my mom stories about when we were younger that she did know and ones she didn't know.  I hope one day we can sit at the same table and do the same thing with my kids and my niece.  

I hope all Mom's had a great Mother's Day and you were shown the appreciation you deserve, you do a job that is selfless never expecting anything in return. 

peace and love, dawn