Fwordz

The Festival of Trees at the Embassy on Thanksgiving Day I woke this morning and it was Christmas.  My son left after going through his stocking to see what the big guy left (although he's 19 and knows I'm the big guy I still always do a stocking) to spend the next couple of days with his dad.  I've been preparing myself and really truly thought I wouldn't feel much of anything on this day but this is truly the first Christmas that I have spent it alone.  The previous years I was a Christmas crasher but after this year of growing and not feeling alone I didn't feel the need to crash a friend's Christmas to keep myself from feeling a little insane and just crying my way through the day.  No, I am not crying my way through the day but seeing all of my friends with their families does make me yearn for mine.  And please do not mistake this post for a pity party because it's not.  Up until this day I have had the most wonderful holiday season.  An...

When you can FINALLY tell your story without crying you have healed.     I have many stories to tell and not all can be spoken without emotion but the one that has plagued me for the last 4 years has been the broken hearted story.  The story that starts with a failed marriage and ends with a failed relationship (sort of relationship).  i FINALLY made the decision to go see a therapist a year and a half ago and it was the best decision i made for myself.  See I had already gone through this physical transformation and lost over 100lbs but there was still something I needed to do to ensure I wouldn't end up back in that same situation that caused me to put on that weight.  After years of being knocked down over and over again, which I can now take responsibility for because I allowed it, I decided to heal that broken heart.  However, before therapy I went about it blindly.  I went about it from a lonely perspective instead of a heale...

live your life and FORGET your age Each year that passes I get a little bit older, a little bit wiser and a little bit stronger.  44 may have looked better but it never felt better. As I sit here and reflect on my trip around the sun this year I realize how much of a growth year this has been for me.  43 was a roller coaster year with just as many UPS as downs.   personally i struggled with bouts of depression, a heart break, seeing my baby girl off to Indiana, watching from a distance as she got married and things as trivial as learning to swipe right and left (blog on that coming soon).  I've watched mostly from afar as my family has had to deal with cancer again and it's affect on each of them.  911 Stair climb i've realized not everyone is meant to continue their part in your journey and struggled to release them and some people were easy to release.  As each year goes by I realize its ok to be a lit...